Faith

                                                            ~FAITH~

I know what your problem is.......you're living on the edge, afraid to step back, afraid to move forward, afraid to make that leap of faith into the unknown. You stand there staring into the darkness of the abyss wondering if the darkness will envelope you and make this big bad world disappear, like it was nothing more than a terrible dream...... But the light above is brightly mesmerizing and offers you hope of all things possible and the fulfillment of dreams gone unrecognized, dishonored. And yet you stand there, hesitant to make a move, because the devil you know is much more comforting than free-falling into the unknown..........Where is your faith when you need it? Where is your faith....?

~ Forgetting~

~She had forgotten she could fly.......so many days had gone by, turning into months, turning into years......
  changing her, taking her joy, replacing it with sorrow, with fear.
~She had forgotten she could fly......her cage allowed little room to spread her wings.......
  a caged bird may sing but it's a song of loneliness, of yearning.
~She had forgotten she could fly......until she realized her cage door was never locked.
  It was always she who allowed her captivity. So with leap of faith, laughing, crying,
  she took to the air........remembering, flying.   <3

Tick Tock

~ So much time has slipped away. Minutes turning into hours, hours turning into days, which turned into weeks, months turning into years..... So many years slowly passing by as I complacently listened without really hearing the ticking of the clock with its second hand diligently marching forward, minute by minute, like some futuristic soldier who bears no mercy, no forgiveness..... Minute by minute, until sunlight turned into moonlight, day in and day out a repeat of the sameness, echoing the longing and loneliness I felt until it became some kind of pathetic mantra. I look back now and wonder why.....why did I allow myself to wallow in this self-imposed state of suspended animation, frozen in time, exiled from life, alive but not really living. Had I forgotten the sacredness of my existence? But of course, I knew the answer..... I dared not put faith in to love again when all I've known of love is heartache and disillusionment. Although my heart and my soul yearned for, my mind would not entertain the idea of it.....So I merely existed, alive but not really living....while the minutes turned into hours, turning into days, which turned into weeks, months turning into years......So many years slowly passing by......and then I met you, and you made me see that time, nor love, waits for any of us. <3

~Words~

So many words have been spoken. They've had years of accumulation....Many were spoken gently and filled with the promise of love and of all good things yet to come. There were words that spoke of our hopes and dreams, wishes and desires, joys and accomplishments, all an expression of thankfulness in the love we shared. But overtime, the hardships of life crept in and my words of reassurance were tossed to the wayside and fell on deaf ears. Our words then began to turn bitter and angry....resentment became second nature. our long forgotten words of love turned into words of frustration and accusations, sometimes apologies, sometimes vulgar retaliations......i can look back now and see the slow downward spiral into the abyss of marital despair. I own my share of the failure, my share of the blame....because I simply gave up and became apathetic to it all. So many words have been spoken...and they crucified me with their cruelty and condemnation. They stripped me of my sense of self-worth and self-love......Until the end of my days I will choose my words ever so carefully and speak them softly and from the heart.....For words hold much power and can forever leave their mark.~

Love Knows No Boundaries

~Love knows no boundaries. It does not play by our imposed rules and regulations. It pays no attention to color, race, religion, or political differences. It doesn't have the slightest care if one is short or tall, bald or hairy, obese or thin, single or married...... and why should it? Love only wants to be honored for what it truly is........and that is the recognition of two hearts who have once again found each other.~

Love Lost.....

Am I to feel secure in all of this, cherished and held dear.......or just a novelty.....an afterthought? No matter how emotionally unavailable I become, I will never be emotionally unavailable to you.... I feel like I'm flapping in the wind...becoming tethered and frayed. If I wait long enough I suppose I will get caught up in the wind and blown free from it all.....free from restraints, reckless abandon....

Slow Burn

Life and Love are sometimes too difficult for the sensitive of heart....a long slow burn that never seems to end....maybe I'm in a state of purgatory.......maybe I'll always be in a state of purgatory.