Sunday, September 23, 2012

~It's Only Love~

The thing is, when you fall in love, madly, crazy, passionately in love, after so many years of being emotionally comatose, it is exhilarating and frightening as hell at the same time. You're not used to wearing your heart on your sleeve. You are also unsure of how to act, what to you decide to simply be yourself and let your light shine forth. But what happens when you fall in love with someone who is not emotionally available? It's not like we can pick and choose who we fall for is it? I don't have that sort of control over my heart I'm afraid. And what happens when your friends don't really understand or realize how much pain you're in? You keep everything bottled up inside and try to stay positive and know that this too will pass, in time. It's only big deal, probably just an infatuation...Life goes on. Well.....let me tell you that I suffer. I hurt. I cry....and while this may pass, it has deeply affected me for the rest of my life, because I am built that way.... But it's no big deal., it's only love...and in the big scheme of things life does indeed go on......and I'll be alright. But never, never ever minimize the way that I feel..................................................

Monday, September 3, 2012

How Are You?

You asked how I am and I replied: "I'm doing okay, you know, trying very hard, very hard." You replied: "What are you trying very hard to do?" My answer was: I'm trying very hard to keep my self together, trying very hard to remain happy and maintain a positive outlook on life. Trying very hard to not stand too close to the abyss of despair once again because I don't want to fall back in for it's much too difficult a climb back up to the land of the living. Trying very hard not to love you or to simply love you and release you to the wind........but I said all these things in my mind and you never heard these words. You can no longer bear to hear my words because you don't really want to know how I am doing. I am doing okay...........and how are you? No, tell me truly, how are you doing?