~If Only~

~It dangles in front of me.....so shiny and filled with promise, like a crystal prism refracting light in colors so vivid and pure that it fills me with wonder and awe..
~It dangles in front of me.....this dream that is almost tangible but just out of reach, leaving echos of emptiness within the chambers of my heart.
~It dangles in front of me......I want so desperately to reach out and grasp it, pulling it to my chest, hanging on ever so tightly.
~It dangles in front of me......but the fear of failure renders me helpless and turns me into a child who needs the gentle voice of reassurance.
~It dangles in front of me......spinning round and round, singing its windsong for my ears only. Pleasing me and teasing me with the promise of what could be...........if only.~

Life (and Love) Happens......

It is not something that you can make go away because it happens to be inconvenient or the timing is wrong. It is not something to be ignored or dismissed because it doesn't fit into our carefully laid out plans or the highlighted route snaking through our personal road map of life. We will inevitability hit a speed bump or two, or a detour that takes us from familiar avenues down rocky unpaved streets with no yield signs, no stop signs, no red and green lights.....Better buckle up and strap in, drive at your own risk of personal injury for this journey is not for the feint of heart. Watch your speed and stay in your lane, don't grip the steering wheel too tightly......Roll down the window and let the wind mess up your hair....No hurries, no worries because we will all reach our destinations eventually.................

 

~Innocence~

There is a part of me.......that no one sees. The innocent little girl who marveled at rainbows, danced in the rain, walked barefoot in the grass under the bright blue skies and golden sunshine. I can see her now....her long brown hair flowing, her big brown eyes shining, her shyness, her smile, her  hopes and dreams, her insecurities, her frailties.........in another lifetime she was a ballerina, a princess, a saint loved by many. And though she gazed at the Moon and Stars and prayed that love would find her and rescue her from her loneliness, she knew that she would have to become stronger and patient and endure all that life would throw her way....knowing that it wouldn't be easy because anything worth having would be a struggle to obtain. The little girl in me KNEW these things.....and she was so very right and so very wise beyond her years......now so much time has passed, decades have gone by.... but I still see her, I still commune with her..... for she has become my inspiration, my voice of reason when nothing in this life makes sense. She is pure and she is innocent and she has the wisdom of Heaven within her soul and the Love of angels inside her heart. She is me and she is beautiful and  though I sometimes lose my way I have not forgotten her......... <3