~This I Give To You Freely~

~What have I to offer you.......? no wealth or riches, or villa by the sea, only my smile when you look at me.  I can offer you my compassion and empathy, to help ease your sorrows when need be...This I give to you freely.~ What have I to offer  you.......? no fame and fortune or life of luxury, only my hand when you walk with me. I can offer you my desires shamelessly, my kiss, my touch, my sensuality...This I give to you freely.~What have I to offer you.......? no gold or diamonds, to wear decadently, only my heart, to share pure and simply. I can offer you my love, uncompromisingly, with no hesitation, but so willingly........This I give to you freely.~

What Happened To Us~

We live our lives...day in and day out. We do what is expected of us, what society expects of us.....we finish school, we go to college, we marry, we gain meaningful employment....day in and day out.....the same routine.....then we have children and we busy ourselves raising them. We forget our dreams and aspirations because now we have a mortgage to pay and college tuition to think about....what happened to us? We forgot how to dance, to walk in the rain, to make love with abandon.....what happened to us? I look at you now and wonder who you are....I don't know you any longer if I ever really knew you at all.....I'm beginning to realize that life is indeed short and that there are no guarantees. It could all be gone in the blink of an eye.....so now I want to tell you, thank you for sharing the first half of my journey with me...I am not bitter for this was our time under the moon and stars. But now it is time to go our separate ways....and I ask myself once again, what happened to us? And all that I can think of  is, we loved the best way we knew how....but it wasn't enough......it wasn't enough for me.~

Sacrifice

~I didn't know I had it in me.....I used to be such a good and obedient woman. But now in looking back I can see that I was merely complacent....didn't want to rock the boat, ruffle feathers, stir the pot. I put myself on the back burner in order to keep the peace. I accepted the status quo, shut myself down emotionally for the most part, climbed deeper into my she-cave where I felt safe and disconnected from my dreams and desires......how dare I have dreams and desires when I was obligated to live this life that was nothing more than habit, a repeat of the same sense of loss and loneliness. But I did dream.....and in time my dreams grew larger than my reality. So after all of these years of questioning and second guessing myself.....I took a deep breath and said the words that needed to be said, the words that I had held back for far too long. But I didn't know I had it in me......because the pain I have caused and the suffering........oh God, I didn't want you to suffer so.....it was not my intention....and I am sorry, with all of my heart I am sorry. Am I to be the sacrificial lamb? Do I give up my hopes and dreams in order to spare another?........Maybe you are right and I am selfish, but I cannot give up on what my heart is telling me, I will not give up. Forgive me please.....but I didn't know I had it in me.......

Coupling

~ Sex is more than an act of pleasure, its' the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can't take it. And at this moment you're a part of them. ~

Clarity

~In moments of clarity, when the haze of confusion has lifted, I vividly see what's in front of me, and all that I've been gifted.~

~He shined his light in the darkness of night, to help me find the way. But to my dismay, he blinded my sight and led my heart astray.~

Lotus

~My love is like a lotus flower. Rising up from the depths of tranquil waters, petals slowly unfurling to be kissed by the Sun and embraced by the magic of the Moon.~

~Neil Gaiman quote~

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

~I Remember You~

~ I remember you....... I'm sure we've met before. You seem so familiar, but the memory eludes me. Was it in our youth, when time was slow and we were carefree? I'm trying so hard to recall, but it's a mystery to me........ I remember you.......It's like waking from a dream that soon fades from memory, leaving so secretly....but I do remember you....perhaps from another lifetime, when we walked hand and hand along the shore, and vowed our love for evermore...... I remember you.~

~Muse~

~Talk to me.....you can tell me anything, I will listen ever so intently. I am here only for you, to soothe and pacify, to encourage and inspire, to make all your dreams come true. So talk to me.........for I am your Muse, and I ask for nothing in return.......except that maybe.......I can talk to you too.~

~Patience~

~The minutes are ticking away.....turning into hours, turning into days, turning into weeks, turning into months, turning into years.........and here I am  patiently waiting..........................~

~The Appraisal~

~You hold me......in the palm of your hand, and study me, from every angle......a curiosity to toy with and try to understand....to see if I live up to your expectations......Am I worthy of keeping? Do you view me as a rare collectible, a gem of some worth? Or simply a shard of glass that has reflected the mid-day sun.........?

~The Thirst~

~You said all the right things....words flowed from your lips like sweet wine from a fountain. And though you seemed too good to be true, I was dying of thirst and dove in head first without knowing how deep the water. But it was cool, and it was soothing, and I drank it up until the fountain stopped flowing.....and left me with nothing, nothing but the taste of bittersweet tears.~

Night Music

~There is but one heart beating....in perfect unison with mine. With a strong and steady rhythm, and keeping perfect time. I can hear it in the night, while laying peacefully still, a mystical and melancholy tune, with such a haunting lilt. I can sense you in the darkness, I hear your music in the night. My heart sings its song to you, under the glow of moonlight.~

Sensitive Woman

~You are a sensitive woman, how well I can tell. A bit apprehensive, so alone you do dwell. Please share your sorrows, lonely hearts do empathize, for I too have know sorrow, which has made me realize....when darkness comes creeping, and eerily whispers your name, wrap yourself in a shroud of love.... and remember to not take blame.~

~Sway~

~There is a rhythm to life, a gentle ebb and flow that we all must learn to dance to. Simply give yourself over to the pulsating beat of it and try not to take the lead.....~

Just a thought~

~Where are we going? Do we have a sense of direction or are we simply blowing in the wind? No matter to me, we all arrive at our destinations sooner or later.....some of us just need to take the long way home, the rocky roads, short cuts never appealed to us, we much prefer the scenic route.  It seems we derive more satisfaction struggling through rugged terrain than staying on the beaten path. I wonder why this is......? Are we more pleased with ourselves with accomplishing a difficult task or do we feel that life shouldn't be too easy? Perhaps we are proving something to ourselves, maybe we are building character or we are simply gluttons for punishment....I don't know really.....the older I become the less I know.....was just thinking aloud.~

~She Let Go~

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the 'right' reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.


She didn't ask anyone for advise . She didn't read a book on how to let go. She didn't search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all the memories that held her back. She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.


She didn't promise to let go. She didn't journal about it. She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.


She didn't analyze whether she should let go. She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn't call the prayer line. She didn't utter one word. She just let go.


No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.


In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

~Metamorphosis~

 ~I allowed your words to penetrate. My thin veneer was no protection from their sharp, piercing barbs. Overtime I was left scarred and damaged, my life blood slowly draining, oozing out of me until I became weak and complacent. I swathed myself in bandages, wrapping them round and around, from head to toe, mummifying myself so that I could go within to find solace and try to heal. And with the passing of time, I did begin to heal.....even with your attempts to tear away the bandages, to pull fibers from the cocoon.......I managed to heal myself. In doing so I became stronger and how this threatened you because it exposed your weaknesses......The bandages have now been removed, the chrysalis has emerged from her cocoon.....she is spreading her colorful wings and learning once again how to fly.~

Moon Love

~For the Moon I am grateful, mystical energy of the night that feeds my dreams with magic and wonder. I sense the unseen spirits in the darkness, they whisper to me secrets from the beginning of time, intangible but innately known to all of humanity. I am cradled in cosmic arms and rocked gently in a blanket made of stars. The Angels sing to me a melodic song that vibrates through the Universe.  ~For the Moon I am grateful, because it soothes my restless spirit with the promise of  Universal love. A love that shines it golden light from the Heavens above and fills me with childlike innocence and awe of all things that once were, all things that are, and all things yet to be. ~For the Moon I am grateful.........                                                                             

Passion by Paolo Coelho

"Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.

No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.

Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?

I don't know."
— Paulo Coelho~   ( I wanted to share this because he is one of my favorite writers and I have thought about this very topic recently...)

Prince of Poetry

~Out of the darkness he came to me, a trickster guised and well versed on matters of the heart. And I, of lonesome spirit, laid eyes upon his beauty, his words of wisdom did speak to me, my prince of poetry.....my love I gave to him freely. But alas, in the light of day, when the moon had gone away, I saw him more clearly....and his contemptuous cruelty frightened the innocent child in me. For you see, he was no prince of chivalry, nor a man of nobility....but merely a jester, lost in his world of insecurity.~

Forest of Dreams

~I lost my way, int the Forest of Dreams, a place I knew so well. But I was careless and traveled too far, and then the darkness fell. All my illusions were stripped away, and I could see with such clarity. But for one who's always danced in the light, this was a harsh reality. So beware bold travelers.... whoever you are, upon entering the Forest of Dreams. Step lightly and mind the signs, for things are seldom as they seem.~

Evolution

~That was a different me.....I am not the same person I was back then. You knew me many moons ago when I was a young woman, too eager to please, putting everyone else's needs before my own. Yes, that was a different me, you no longer know me, not that you ever did. You knew only as much as I allowed, I never let you all the way in....I have evolved into quite the woman, so much stronger and self assured am I. I have finally learned to love myself. I no longer need your approval nor approval from anyone for that matter. I realize my self-worth and what I am capable of giving......so much love, so much passion, it pours from me now that I've opened up my heart once again. Yes.....that was a different me. I am not the same person I was back then.......and that is an amazingly beautiful thing.~

Remorse

~It could have been a dream I had, but I really can't recall. Like a painful memory that has been buried by layers of hours, days, months, years..... But it is a part of me, this haunted memory, that rises to the surface of my mind when I am most vulnerable, smirking its ghostly grin, dead eyes peering into my soul. It is you that I see, though you are shrouded in a blinding light, swirling colors so radiant and pure dancing circles around you. I am at once overwhelmed with emotions of love, sorrow, joy, regret.....And as I reached out to you, to save you from yourself, you silently stepped back into the shadows.....until you were gone, vanished into a place somewhere between space and time, between love and hate, between reason and insanity....leaving me alone and wondering what I could have done, should have done to save you....and in turn, save myself.~

The Reawakening

~I opened the door....after too many years of self-imposed exile and solitary reflection. I believed I didn't need anyone, wouldn't entertain the idea of it. Love had become foreign to me. I didn't trust in it, couldn't put faith in it, even a child learns quickly to stay away from the flame. But the loneliness I felt......my God......the loneliness. It ate away at me, ever so slowly, until I was a shell of the woman I once knew. It overwhelmed me and undermined my very essence. But I was no longer a child and the flame, how it mesmerized and hypnotized. It enveloped me in its golden glow and the heat of it awakened within a passion that had been smoldering, buried under years of heartache and sorrow, patiently waiting for the breath of life to re-ignite the fire. Do I dare dream of love again when all I've known of love has been heartache and disappointment? Do I dare dream of the flames of passion burning like red hot embers deep within? Love and passion.......my soul cries for you, my heart yearns for you, my womanhood aches for you.......So I opened the door, after too many years of self-imposed exile and solitary reflection. I believed I didn't need anyone, wouldn't entertain the idea of it.....but I was wrong, so very, very wrong.~

~Night Music~

Under light of moon his melancholy music came to me. So lilting and sensuous that it brought me from deep slumber and awakened my senses. It pulsated with a rhythmic, tribal, thronging beat that has been danced to since the beginning of human existence. But his music was meant for my ears only and awakened in me a hunger that had been long denied. And as I danced and swayed to its calling, a remembrance came to mind that was long forgotten and buried under years of loneliness. It was a memory of love lost lifetimes ago, in another place far removed from this earthly existence. I remember you my love.....and I can hear your music in the night.....my heart aches for you, my soul sings to you, and I will not rest until I can look into your eyes once again.

The Well

~Such self-control you have, what is your secret I wonder? How do you give of yourself in matters of the heart without falling down the well? That damned deep well of no return..... I wish I had your practicality, your ability to compartmentalize, your morals and values.... But no, my stars were aligned differently... I tend to jump in head first without knowing how deep the water. So foolish of me but oh so thrilling, so very much alive it makes me feel.... I have taken that leap of faith, taken a deep breath, and jumped in...Now I pray the depth of your love is deep enough to sustain me....~   Vita

~Wide-Eyed Wonder~

~With wide-eyed wonder I think of you....and it brings a smile to my lips, and it makes my heart beat faster, and I dream of what it would be like to hold your hand, and to kiss your mouth, and to lie down with you..... and each time I see you I think of these things.....and I wonder if they shall ever come to pass.~

Just Breathe...

~What is lacking in me, in my life, that I find myself dreaming...always dreaming... of what it would be like, could be like, to be with you. Most times inviting these feelings, sometimes trying so hard to shut them out...but to no avail...it's maddening, almost unbearable, so nerve-wracking and confusing. Is it only lust that I feel? There's something happening to me, some awakening...like my battery's being recharged. I'm too mature for this, I'm so unsure of this, I'm much too wise, so stupid,...I need to take a deep breath and try to quiet my soul...Just calm down, mellow out and not allow myself to be so afraid to feel again, though it's been so very long. I don't expect anything from you or of you...except your friendship, and maybe to bury my face into your neck, take a deep breath, and forget about life for awhile...~

~Dream Lover~

~I have traveled the heavens, through space and time, through many lifetimes, just to find you. I have sailed the oceans, crossed deserts of sand, and stood on mountaintops, just to find you. I have communed with the angels, prayed to my God, sold my soul to the devil;, just to find you. And sometimes.....when I stand beneath the moon and the stars, and look into the darkness, I can sense you, ever so close and just a dream away.~      *Vita*                           

~Awakening~

~I have held you at bay for far too long now. I wouldn't acknowledge or entertain the idea of you. For you have become a stranger to me and I held no desire to meet you once again. But you had other plans and stepped out from the shadows. So here we now stand, face to face, my eyes meeting your eyes, and in them I can see the wonder and possibility of love once again awakening within me.~

Vita speaks....

Hello world, my name is Vita. I am a hopeless romantic, an epicure, a lover of music, books, the ocean, flora and fauna, humanity with all its frailties and imperfections. I set up this account so that I can post my musings, my thoughts, my prose.......I am not a professional writer or speaker, I simply write to release what is inside of my head. Sometimes my words resonate with others, sometimes I strike a nerve or make others think differently about something....I look forward to this new format....should be fun.