Just Breathe...

~What is lacking in me, in my life, that I find myself dreaming...always dreaming... of what it would be like, could be like, to be with you. Most times inviting these feelings, sometimes trying so hard to shut them out...but to no avail...it's maddening, almost unbearable, so nerve-wracking and confusing. Is it only lust that I feel? There's something happening to me, some awakening...like my battery's being recharged. I'm too mature for this, I'm so unsure of this, I'm much too wise, so stupid,...I need to take a deep breath and try to quiet my soul...Just calm down, mellow out and not allow myself to be so afraid to feel again, though it's been so very long. I don't expect anything from you or of you...except your friendship, and maybe to bury my face into your neck, take a deep breath, and forget about life for awhile...~